Friday, December 30, 2011

The Power of the DOC

Thank you, Diabetes Online Community.

I've seen the power of the DOC at work this week.  I mean, I know how much you all have helped me, but to watch another person get involved is truly amazing.  That newly diagnosed friend for whom I made that list (which now has its own page on this blog) has begun to get involved in the DOC.  You all have welcomed this person with open arms, both in person (thanks Scott, Babs, and Bob) and online.

This person has been struggling, and to watch the support overflow has been truly beautiful and magical.  To watch someone else experience that "I am not alone" epiphany is beyond words.

I've been thinking a lot about when I first found the DOC.  I felt depressed and alone.  You all showed me that I wasn't.  My blog/tweetaversary is coming up, one week from today.  I will have been posting and tweeting for an entire year.  And I can't imagine my life without all of you.

You are making a difference in this people's lives.  What YOU do matters.

Thank you, DOC.  And Happy New Year!

Image credit here

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Cookie Math

My Christmas present! :)


and after!  Cookies for Josh (since he gave me the mixer and all).

Cookie math for me. #itmakessenseifyouhavediabetes

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Simple Question and Quite the List!

It seemed like a simple question.

So last night, I was trying to put together some resources for a recently diagnosed adult person with diabetes (PWD).  I was trying to find some others who had been diagnosed as adults.  So I threw this out on Twitter:

The response I received is overwhelming!  I met some new people on Twitter I didn't even know!

So, if you're looking for people diagnosed with either Type 1 or LADA as an adult, here is the list of all who responded.  If you tweet or blog and you're not on this list, please let me know, and I'll add you.  Conversely, if you would like your name removed, that's not a problem either.

The girl I was collecting resources for is never going to believe it!  This is quite the list!

Thanks everyone!

(UPDATED) Type 1 and LADA D-peeps Diagnosed As Adults

Aifric: @AifricWalsh

Amber: @amberjclifford - Amber Cliff Notes

Amy: @AmyDBMine - Diabetes Mine

Ashley: @dream4muse - Tales of SWAGing

Alyssa: Dia-pathetic.

Babs: @babsssoup - Babs' Blog

Becky: @instructionsni - Instructions Not Included

Brian@bosh - Alternate Interior

Catherine: @dancethrubeetes - A Diabetic Ballerina

Charli: @charli1point5

Cherise@Diabetic_Iz_Me - Cherise

Chris: @iam_spartacus - A Consequence of Hypoglycemia

Colleen: D-Meanderings

Debra: @DebraGardner1 - Grammie's Creations & Such

Elizabeth: Type 1 at 30

Gerry: @IMGerryO

Glen: @canadianglen

Hannah: @HannahNitz - Rhymes With Hannah

Heather: @auntlyh - Beyond Your Peripheral Vision

Holly: @Arnold_and_Me - *Arnold and Me*

Jeff: @jeffmather - Jeff Mather's Dispatches

Jess: @LaMerenguera

Jim: @perrythepump

Katie: @1littleprick - 1LittlePrick

Katie: @avisualtinkle 

Kristina: @kristinacary

Lisa: @lisafromscratch - Lisa From Scratch

Manny: @askmanny - Manny Hernandez

Mike: @everydayupsdwns - Everyday Ups and Downs

Patrick: @PatrickMcConnell

Rachel: @PRobablyRachel - PROBABLYRACHEL

Sara: @saraknic - Moments of Wonderful - Sara Knicks

Scully: Canadian D-gal

Shawnmarie: @ShawnmarieS

Simon: @STroyCrow - Simon From the 70s

William: @WilDubois - LifeAfterDx--CGMChronicles

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Josh To the Rescue!

My fantastic husband stopped at home to grab this...

so that we weren't late for this...

Josh to the rescue! (And yes, I LOVED it!  One of my most favorite books ever!)

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Diabetes Takes A Backseat

Such a fantastic weekend.

It was spent with two of my college roommates, who also happen to be two of my best friends.  We don't get to see each other as much as we would like to, so I really cherish the time I get to spend with these girls.

It was one of the girls' birthday Saturday, which was the reason for getting together.  We watched movies, got the most amazing pedicure ever, baked a birthday cake, and went out for a yummy birthday dinner.

I mostly watched this being made.  Including watching my
 friends literally throw sprinkles at the sides of the cake!

It was amazing.  The only not amazing part?  My stupid blood sugars weren't being cooperative AT ALL!  Grrr.  I think it was a combo of hormone crap and the pizza and baked goods.  I couldn't seem to get under 150.  Hovered in the upper 100s and low 200s all weekend.

But you know what?  I made the choice not to care.  I mean, I did my best to tame the bgs.  Correction boluses, temp basals, the works.  But I consciously made the decision not to let diabetes steal my joy and make me frustrated and unable to enjoy the time with my friends.

Sometimes, diabetes just needs to take a backseat.

Also, my birthday friend gave me this necklace for Christmas.  She said she wanted to get me something for Blue Fridays.  Thanks, friend! :)

Watch for this necklace next November!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Diabetes Makes Everything More Complicated

Oh my.

Sorry I've been kinda MIA lately.  I'm still playing catch-up.  I was totally out of commission from Thursday night till Monday.

I'll spare you all the gory details.  Let's just say this was the worst stomach flu I've had in a long, long time.  I haven't been so sick since I got food poisoning in high school (wound up in the hospital for that one).  Diabetes makes everything more complicated.

Lots of vomiting, some large ketones, and an ER trip later, I'm ever so glad to be back to my usual self.  Whew!

Now that it's over and done, I'm trying to focus on being thankful:
  • I'm thankful for my insulin pump, and the ability to reduce my basal insulin while vomiting to avoid going low.  Conversely, I am also thankful for the ability to increase basal insulin to combat large ketones.
  • I am also thankful for my blood ketone meter.  I was not able to ingest much liquid for a while, which makes peeing on a stick a little difficult.
  • CGM.  Oh, how I love thee!  I will do my best not to whine or complain about you for a while, since you worked so beautifully while I was sick.  Spot on the whole time.  Thank you.
  • I am thankful that my bgs stayed between 150 and 180 mg/dl the entire time I was sick.  So very thankful.
  • Although I did have to make an ER trip, I am thankful that was all that was required.  Not a hospital stay.  Whew.  Also, my ER nurse had a daughter-in-law with T1.  We chatted about pumps and stuff.  Diabetes is everywhere, yo.
  • My mom was on call, standing ready to come over or do whatever was needed.  Like making me chicken noodle soup, and running to the grocery store for jello and pudding.  And sleeping with her phone.  Thanks mom!

Last but not least, I am most thankful for my incredible husband.  This requires more than a bullet point.  Without Josh's diligent care, I definitely would have wound up in the hospital.  He was awake with me for almost 48 hours straight.  He ran to the store, crushed up ice for me to chomp, stayed home from work Friday so I wouldn't be alone.  Josh helped me change my reservoir and set (since I couldn't even really sit up), took me to the ER at 3:30 in the morning, and kept an eye on my CGM while I dozed in a medicated haze.
This was the sickest I've been since Josh and I have been together.  It was my first ER trip without my mom (and kudos to mom for letting go and letting Josh handle it all--I know that couldn't have been easy for her).  I am so thankful for all he did.  I would do the same for him in a heartbeat, for sure, but I am still just so grateful.  I feel so blessed to have such an amazing husband.  Thank you, Josh.

Something else to be thankful for: it's the weekend again!  And I'm not sick!  Yay!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Please excuse some shameless self-promotion here.  I finally created a facebook page last night.  Head on over and give the blog a like if you feel so inclined.  Thanks! :)

Monday, December 5, 2011


So this post has nothing to do with diabetes, and yet everything to do with it.

This past week, a local weatherman here in Kansas City took his own life.  It is so, very, very sad.  His suicide has been getting a lot of press here locally since he was on TV every day.  Watching Fox 4 this week has been heartbreaking.  The reporters are trying to be professional and do their jobs, but you can see the emotion on their faces, especially of the morning crew.  They are grieving.

I want to take a moment to thank Don Harman's wife and family, for allowing Fox 4 to share Don's story and talk openly about depression and suicide.  Hopefully, this will encourage people dealing with depression to seek help.

Please take a moment and read this heartbreaking yet beautiful post from Don's coworker and friend Joe Lauria.

Also, here is video of the Channel 4 anchors talking to some mental health professionals about how to help someone dealing with depression, and how to cope when someone you care about commits suicide.

My heart broke when I heard the news.  Though I myself have not dealt with serious, clinical depression, there are people I love and care about who have.  And who continue to deal with it each day.  I know more than one person who has contemplated suicide.  Thankfully, those people sought help in time.

Depression is something that a lot of people deal with.  If you have diabetes, your risk of dealing with depression increases.  Why exactly this is the case is not known.

Depression can be situational, or it can be chemical.  Either way, it is a serious condition.  If you are dealing with depression, please talk to someone.  Seek help.  If someone you love is dealing with depression, encourage them to seek help.  Remind them that you love them, and they are not alone.

From the Channel 4 site: "If you are thinking of hurting or killing yourself PLEASE call 1-800- SUICIDE.  If you are struggling and need to talk to someone who understands, call 1-800-WARM EAR."

More resources are also available on the Mental Health America website, or you can call them at 1-800-273-TALK.

As a former psychology major and someone who has recently sought help for my own mental health issues, this is something I am quite passionate about.

Sarah wrote this incredible post about her own battle with depression and suicide attempt.  Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah.

Hang in there, my friends.  You Can Do This. 

*Disclaimer: I chose to write about this topic all by myself.  I do not know anyone at Fox 4, and no one asked me to blog about it.  Like I said, mental health awareness is a passion of mine.

Friday, December 2, 2011

How Can A Number Make Me Feel This Way?

Thank you all for sharing in my joy earlier this week.  I am still so thrilled!

But this post from Kerri yesterday stopped me in my tracks.  If you haven't read it yet, please stop and do so.  The rest of my post will make a lot more sense if you do.

Here I sit, having just gotten my lowest A1c in years.  And reading Kerri's powerful post brought tears to my eyes.  It's not effing fair.  The same blood test.  While I am celebrating, my friend is crying.  Not fair.  Makes me want to punch something.

Because I've been there too.  We all have.  Those A1c results that leave us in tears, stomp all over our self-esteem, and make us question everything we've been doing.  They leave us feeling defeated, wondering, "Why the hell do I even bother?"

And the guilt.  Oh the guilt.  Hello there, old friend who I wish would leave me the eff alone.  What is wrong with me?  Why can't I get my act together.  Other PWDs have amazing A1cs.  If they can do it, why can't I?

photo courtesy of lrargerich
(via flickr creative commons)
How can a number make me feel this way?

I have felt that way.  And if you are a person with diabetes, or the parent of a child with diabetes, you have too.  I'm happy with my A1c right now, but I know that at some point in the future, it will rise again, and those feelings will be back.

But can I tell you something?  Something that some fantastic friends have told me?


The head knows it, but the heart is harder to convince.

My A1c is just a number.  Yes, it is an important number.  Important because it relates to my health.  I need to take care of myself.  And I want all my friends in the DOC to take care of themselves.  But we ALL go through patches where we don't.  Living with diabetes is hard.  Like Cherise was talking about on DSMA Live last night, diabetes can't have all your attention all the time.

But those feelings?  The shame, the guilt--THEY ARE LIES.  Can we do better?  Yes.  But beating ourselves up about the number is not going to aid that endeavor.  An A1c is a number.  It is data to be used to say, "What now?"  Big thanks to Bennet for reminding me about that.

Also, my better is not the same as your better.  I'm thrilled for Brian and his A1c, but I don't think I'll ever see mine there.  I don't want it there.  My diabetes is different than Brian's.  Our A1c goals are not going to be the same.  Your diabetes may vary.

Celebrate if your A1c is where you want it to be.  If it isn't, call out guilt and shame for the liars that they are.  And read this post from Melissa.

You can do this.  One day at a time.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I'm Framing It!

I still can't believe it.

Yesterday, I had my quarterly endo appointment.  For the first time in a long, long time, I was actually looking forward to my appointment.

Yes, you read that correctly.  I was excited to go see my endo.  Crazy, right?

The last month has been going so well.  Not that all my bgs have been amazing.  Far from it (i.e. the week before my period.  Holy high blood sugars, batman!).

But it's been about a month since I started seeing my therapist.  It's quite freeing to talk about my life and the things I've been through to a mental health professional.  More than I thought it would be.  I didn't expect to see results in regards to my eating immediately.  But I have!

Not that my emotional eating is gone.  It isn't.  It's still there, lurking, every time I get upset or stressed out.  And I have slipped multiple times.  I'm far from perfect.  I know I have a long way to go, but I feel like I've made progress.  I still have high bgs, but when I'm not binge eating, I'm not running high ALL THE TIME.  It feels nice.

So I went into the appointment feeling hopeful.  Hopeful that my A1c would reflect how much better I was doing and feeling.  But I tried not to get too excited.  To remind myself that the A1c is just a number, and may not reflect my progress in such a short amount of time.

Walk in, sit down, nurse pricks finger, checks bg and gets sample for A1c.  The endo comes in and we chat as he looks at my CGM reports.  He seems pleased by the average line on the graphs.

The suspense is KILLING me!  At this office, they slide a card with the A1c under the door when the results come in.  As I talk to the endo, I keep looking at the door.  Come on, already!

My endo says, "So I hear you're seeing Dr. X.  How is that going?"  And I'm in the middle of telling him when the card slides under the door.


Say WHAT?  My A1c was 7.5 last time.  It's down to 7.1!  SEVEN POINT ONE, PEOPLE!  I can't even tell you the last time it was that low.  Seriously, I can't.  Again, I know that an A1c is only a number.  It does not reflect my worth.  It does not define me.  But to have tangible evidence of progress is incredible.

My endo was, of course, thrilled.  At the end of my appointment, I snuck down the hall to my CDE's office and peek in.  She's there.  I tell her my A1c.  And give her that hug.  And she is almost as excited as I am.  I feel so blessed to have such a supportive team in my endo, CDE, and therapist.  I wouldn't have reached this point without them.

Upon leaving, walking teary-eyed back to my car, I text my mom and call my husband, who share in my joy.  They have supported me always, through thick and thin.  I owe them so much.

I sat there in the car all teary-eyed because I could hardly believe it.  One year ago, I saw my endo in November, and my A1c was 8.0.  For me, that was the highest I'd been in a long time.  For me, that was rock bottom.  And then I found the DOC.  You all have inspired me to take care of myself.  You have taught me that I can do this.  Without you, I wouldn't have had the courage to ask for help.  And I wouldn't be sitting here with quite possibly the best A1c of my adult life.  Thank you.

Oh, and I almost forgot.  When my endo got up to leave, he handed me the card with my A1c.  "Here," he says, "you can put it on the fridge."  Are you kidding?  I'm framing it!

Monday, November 28, 2011

You Have Been Warned

Hi everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  Ours turned out a little differently than we had planned.  I got sick, so Josh and I wound up spending Thanksgiving at home, with me a snotty mess on the couch.

I missed having a big Thanksgiving with my family, but it was quite nice to stay home for four days and not really have to do anything.  And a HUGE thank you to my wonderful husband for taking such good care of me while I was sick.

I have so very many things to be thankful for.  My family, friends, the DOC, my job, health insurance, my home, and that we are blessed enough to have everything we need.  I am so thankful, and feel so blessed.

By Friday afternoon, I was starting to feel better.  You know what that means, right?


Please ignore the speaker.  It is not part of the decor...

In case you couldn't tell, I LOVE Christmas!!!  I will listen to nothing but Christmas music between now and the end of December.  I will talk about Christmas in my posts and tweets A LOT over the next month.  You have been warned.

So Friday afternoon, I brought the boxes up from the basement and decked the halls while my husband was super-wonderful and put up the lights outside.

And Saturday, up went the tree!

This is the first year that Josh and I have had a full-size tree.  In our old tiny one-bedroom apartment, a big tree never would have fit.  We got this one after Christmas last year.

Words cannot describe how happy it makes me to have this beautiful tree in our living room.  I love it.

Also, we can finally hang this ornament that we purchased the first Christmas after we got married.

Isn't it cute?  Yes, I'm ridiculous, I know.

Whatever holiday you and your family celebrate this season, I hope you have as much fun preparing for it as I do.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to start wrapping presents...

Monday, November 21, 2011

Healing Power

I LOVE music.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you probably have figured that out.  My dad is a music encyclopedia, for rock and roll at least.  I was raised on the Beatles, Paul Simon, The Police, R.E.M (yes, I am in mourning), Phil Collins and Peter Gabriel (both in Genesis and solo), Stevie Ray Vaughn, The Who, Buddy Holly...

You get the idea.  I will forever be grateful to my father for this.  And I still listen to most of these artists.  But of course, I have artists that I love as well.

My three favorite bands are Switchfoot, David Crowder Band (also in mourning over their approaching split) and Jars of Clay.  I am a HUGE lyrics person.  It's the lyrics that draw me in and keep me.  These three bands have such intelligence and thought in their songs.  And I like their theology (which we won't get into--that's a whole 'nother blog post).

Yep, I bought a shirt.
Music brings me great comfort.  I listened to Switchfoot's album The Beautiful Letdown over and over again when my friend died.  DCB and Jars also have songs I listen to during "dark and twisty times," as Sara says.

Things have been kind of dark and twisty lately.  So when I saw on Twitter Saturday morning that Jars was playing in town that night, I knew we had to go.  Due to some general confusion, we missed the Jars VIP preshow.  I was disappointed.  But my wonderful husband scored us some AMAZING seats for the concert itself!

The concert was incredible.  I didn't even realize how badly I needed it until we were waiting in that inevitable line to leave the parking garage.  Music has healing power.  I firmly believe that.

I am SO HAPPY Josh and I were able to go to the Rock and Worship Roadshow.  We sat through multiple acts I'd never heard of, most of whom were not my cup of tea.  But seeing Matt Maher, Jars, and MercyMe made all the waiting more than worth it.

I recorded some video at the show.  Matt Maher sang Hold Us Together and MercyMe sang Mighty To Save, both of which I sang at church in worship choir Sunday morning.  What are the odds?

And Jars sang The Shelter.  Which I've shared and posted about before.  That song makes me think of the Diabetes Online Community.  Forgive the wobbliness of my recording.  I was crying and trying to hold the phone steady at the same time.

Also, I was reminded during the show that the lead singer of MercyMe, Bart Millard, has a son with T1 diabetes.  And I wanted to run up on stage and hug him and tell him all about the DOC and how it's changed my life.  But security would have thrown me out had I tried, I'm sure.

Josh and I paid for our tickets to the concert.  None of the artists or anyone else affiliated with the Rock and Worship Roadshow asked me to write about the concert.I'm just a Jars groupie avid fan.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Thank You

Thank you to all the people in my life outside the DOC, who don't have diabetes, who wore blue yesterday.  Or on one of the Blue Fridays.  It means more to me than words can say.  Every time I got a Facebook notification that a person without diabetes (PWoD) was wearing blue for me, it made me want to cry.  To my friends and family members who supported me in that way, thank you.  From the bottom of my heart.

I somehow mustered the courage to send the Blue Fridays video to my coworkers and the parents of my students last week.  Their response was overwhelmingly positive!  Which makes me wonder why I was so nervous to send it in the first place..

Friday afternoon, I got a phone call from a parent.  He called to say that they loved the video, and wanted to do something to support me.  So they bought blue beads and sent them along so my class could all make blue jewelry that afternoon.

Wow.  I managed to eek out a thank you while holding back tears.  When I hung up the phone, I just sat there trying not to cry.  Such a small act, but it meant so much to me.

That afternoon, blue beads were brought forth from a backpack.  I hugged the student, and the student said, "Miss Jessica, there were a lot of kids at school wearing blue today for Diabetes Awareness Month, but they didn't know it!  So I told them!"

Again, cue me trying not to cry.

Blue jewelry was made, by the girls anyway.  Here's my creation, which I plan on wearing every day for the rest of the month.

Oh, and yesterday, another student came up and said, "Look, Miss Jessica, I remembered my blue necklace for World Diabetes Day!"

Thank you.

Excuse me while I go cry again...

Monday, November 14, 2011

What A Difference A Year Makes

Today is World Diabetes Day. And if you're reading this, then you likely already know it.

Image credit IDF

For me, today means a lot of things. It means that I am all decked out in blue. It means that some of my coworkers are also sporting blue. It means that I feel connected to people with diabetes worldwide. This is
our day.

Today also reminds me where I was one year ago. One year ago today, I had only discovered the DOC a few weeks before. I joined Juvenation. C is the very first person in the DOC I ever talked to. She messaged me to welcome me, and the rest, as they say, is history.

I also met Kim through Juvenation. Hers and C's were the first blogs I ever read. And only through their encouragement did I dare to start my own blog and join twitter. And I feel incredibly blessed to be able to
call both these ladies my friends.

One year ago today, I wore blue. I didn't tweet, I didn't blog, and I wasn't FB friends with anyone from the DOC. But I wore blue.

Today, I am wearing blue again. And I am proud to be a part of the family that is the DOC. Thank you all for changing my life.

What a difference a year makes.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: More Blue!

Josh wore blue with me on Friday! :)

And I'm trying to do the Big Blue Test every day between now and World Diabetes Day (Nov. 14th).  Every test means diabetes supplies for people who can't afford them.  Help us help as many people as possible!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I'll Hug Her Next Time

So yesterday afternoon, I had my second appointment with my mental health professional.  I still really like her a lot, and feel good about that decision.

I need to take a moment here and thank everyone for their support.  I knew that you all would back me up, but the amount of encouragement and love I received was truly overwhelming.  Thank you.

As I mentioned in my previous post on the subject, my CDE helped me find my therapist.  And I want to share about that experience so you will understand why I LOVE my CDE!

So because I am a total chicken, I called when I knew my CDE wouldn't be in the office and left her a voicemail.  I was so nervous, I don't even really remember what I said. Something along the lines of "I'm having a lot of trouble with emotional eating," and "can you please help me find a mental health professional?"

When she called back the next day, I didn't answer.  I let it go to voicemail.  Cause I am a chicken.

I was SO NERVOUS going to my appointment with her.  Now let me back up.  I've been seeing the same endo for almost 10 years now.  And I've been working with this CDE (we'll call her J) for at least five years.  If not longer.

I knew that she would be supportive, and I completely trusted her to help me.  But I'd never done this before.

SO nervous...

But I didn't need to be.  J walked me into her office and said, "Tell me what's going on."

And so I did.  About the stress happening in my life.  About the emotional eating.  About how it's been happening for YEARS.  About how it's why my A1c won't come down.

"This is a problem for more people than you'd think," she said, "and I've had other patients go through this too.  I'm so glad you came in.  We'll get this figured out."

And then she handed me a paper with the name of my now-therapist on it.  Experience with eating issues and diabetes?  Yes please!

We then spent some time talking about the DOC.  This was the week after Simonpalooza, so the impact of the DOC was hugely present.  I told her all about the amazing weekend.  About how the DOC has changed my life.  About how all of you is what gave me the courage to finally ask for help.

And she thought it was awesome.

I thought she was fantastic before all of this, but I love her even more now.  That meeting with J gave me hope.  It was the first glimpse of hope I'd had that I wouldn't be doing this to myself forever.  The eating.  There was no judgement; only support.

When I left, she said, "Keep me posted.  I will call if I don't hear from you."  I could see the worry on her face.  I wanted to hug her.  I should have.

I'll hug her next time.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Advocacy In Print

I was going about my business Wednesday afternoon, when I saw this tweet from JDRF CEO Jeffrey Brewer:

I'd heard there was going to be a full page ad regarding the FDA and the Artificial Pancreas (AP), so I was super-excited to see it.  So I clicked the link.

Image credit JDRF

Woah.  I was stopped in my tracks.  I sat there staring at the ad for several minutes, trying to process it all. My initial reaction was something along the lines of, "Holy effing shiitake mushrooms!"  Followed soon behind by, "That's so badass!"

I don't think I was the only one shocked by the ad, and I know there's a lot of varying opinions on the decision to run such an ad.  For what it's worth, here's my two cents.

I freaking LOVE this ad!  So.  Much.  Yes, the 1 in 20 statistic is quite scary*.  Every time I look at the ad, my stomach sinks.  Lows scare the living daylight out of me.


But I still love this.  I have never seen anything from JDRF be so blunt and aggressive in it's approach.  This ad is not aimed at those of us living day to day with type 1 diabetes, or caring for a loved one with T1 diabetes.

It's aimed at the general population.  At people who have no idea what it's like to live with T1.  That's it's a serious disease.  That it's 24/7/365 without a single break.  Ever.  That people are DYING from this disease.  We see the blue candles and live with the fear.  They don't.  This is not the time or place for delicacy.  For being worried about offending people.  For, forgive the pun, sugar-coating anything.

I can only hope and pray that this ad has made some people think.  Has changed some hearts and minds.  Inspired someone to find out more about T1 diabetes, or any kind of diabetes.

I don't place much stock in a cure.  I honestly don't believe I'll see one in my lifetime.  That's why I am so passionate about the AP.  That's where I place my hope.  

It's ok if you don't agree with me.  But we NEED the AP as soon as possible.  LIVES are at stake!

Edit to add: I came across this heartbreakingly honest post regarding the ad from Jessica Apple on A Sweet Life today.  You NEED to go read it.

*I contacted JDRF, and they said the statistic in the ad comes from "Several publications by Philip E. Cryer, MD on hypoglycemiacite estimates of death due to hypoglycemia in patients w/T1D, et al."  They also said to email for more information.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I Won't Be Wearing Mascara For A While

I'm not doing NaBloPoMo this go round.  I just don't have the energy.

I know I've been absent for a while now.  There's been some things going on in my personal life that have  been demanding all my time and attention.  The past few months have been hard.  The health of my grandparents has been declining, and that's putting a lot of strain on my family.  It's been difficult.

This might get rambly, but please stay with me.  I've posted a number of times about my food issues (see here, herehere, and here).  When things are going well, I feel like I have a handle on things.  But then something happens that knocks me on my ass, and I'm back to square one.

I've known for a while that I needed to get some help in dealing with my emotional eating.  I realize that diabetes (along with some other things I've been through) has totally effed up my relationship with food.  It's turned into something I use to attempt to cope with my emotions, and that is not a healthy thing.  My eating is why my A1c hasn't budged.

So with the full support of my husband, my family, and my friends, I finally did it.  I asked for help.

I called my CDE and asked her to help me find a mental health professional (sidenote: there will be an entire post about that conversation because my CDE is AMAZING!).  And just as I had hoped and prayed, she was able to help me find someone who specializes in eating disorders AND has experience working with people with diabetes!  Yay!

When I spoke to her on the phone, this mental health professional said, "My passion is working with people who are eating when they don't want to be."  Yes.  Just yes.  That is me.

I had my first appointment last week.  I really like her, and I believe that she can help me.  And as much as I wish there was a quick fix, I know there isn't.  It's going to be a long process, but I hope and pray that at the end of it, I will be able to cope with my emotions in a healthier fashion.

I'm still overwhelmed by everything, but I know I'm headed in the right direction.  And I have people who love me supporting me.  And this includes the DOC.

Thank you, my DOC friends.  I have read so many posts and heard so many stories from countless people in the DOC who have sought the help of mental health professionals.  Thank you for sharing.  Your courage has given me courage.  I know that like with the diabetes, I am not alone in this struggle either.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Oh, and since I doubt I'll make it through a session without crying, I won't be wearing mascara for a while...

Friday, October 21, 2011

I Got A Reply!!!

Tuesday was a LONG day.  I was dragging.  And so I tweeted this:

Didn't think much of it.  I mention Diet Coke in tweets from time to time.  Because I love it.  Not quite as much as Scott, but I do love it.

Wednesday night, I'm prepping for #dsma, and this tweet pops up in my mentions:

OMG!!!!  Cue my official freak out!  And I wasn't the only one excited!

Who else would get THIS EXCITED over a response from Diet Coke besides my DOC friends?  I really can't think of anyone...

Have a great weekend! :)

*This post stems from my own ridiculous excitement about this Twitter exchange. Diet Coke did not ask me to write it.  And as much as we all love Diet Coke, no one mentioned in this post has any sort of sponsorship from Diet Coke.  Though we would be open to the possibility...*

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Here I Am (Again!)

Y'all are gonna get sick of me this week.

The Blue Fridays video came out yesterday, which I still can't believe I got to be a part of. 

I spent Monday evening "Just Talking" with Chris for his podcast.  I'm a huge fan of Chris, and it's an honor to be on his show.  We talked about Simonpalooza (of course), but also my relationship with my husband, Mac devices, and how I know next to nothing about sports.  Go to Chris' blog to listen in.  Thanks Chris!

And if that's not enough of me for you, today, I have the honor of guest posting over at the Diabetes Advocates site.

Diabetes Advocates is a group of pretty amazing people who network and work together to advocate for diabetes.  Pretty self-explanatory, right?

Anywho, since we had I believe 14 members of DA at Simonpalooza in KC, Manny asked me to write a quick post about what Simonpalooza taught me.  Go check it out!

talking the night away... (photo credit C)

Thanks Manny for the opportunity!

Now I'm going to go hide and leave everyone alone for a while...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Wear Blue!

So you may have heard rumors floating around about wearing blue on Fridays.  Well, it's official!  Blue Fridays this November!

Another brainchild of Cherise (seriously, this woman must never sleep!), she's asking us ALL to wear blue every Friday in November, both before and after World Diabetes Day.

Which totally gives me an excuse to go shopping and buy some more clothes as long as they're blue, right?

Seriously though, I am excited to rock the blue with my fellow PWD and Type Awesomes.  And totally honored that Cherise asked me to be a part of the Blue Fridays video she organized.  Also, Blue Fridays has a Facebook page you need to like.

Thank you Cherise including me, and to Kim for her mad editing skillz (yes, I spelled it that way on purpose).

Wear blue!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Blessed By Friends

So, I've been blogging since January.  And I love it.

I do realize that people read my blog, mostly from the Diabetes Online Community.  Some of you, I have never met.  Some of you I have.

But sometimes I forget that people I know in my everyday life read my blog.  My mom.  People at my church.  My college friends.  Until they say something, and then I'm all like, "Oh yeah..."

Sometimes I don't know what to say when someone outside the diabetes bubble says something about my blog.  "Um, thanks," is about all I can usually muster.

But sometimes it means a lot.  Especially when it comes from people I really care about.  Like my college roommates.  Those three girls are some of my closest friends.  They knew about my diabetes, but I didn't like to talk about it, so we didn't.  I was more into the "pretend it doesn't exist" crap back then.

Now, I'm more open about it.  And those three girls read my blog.  They listen to me talk about the DOC.  They can tell how much you all have helped me, and that makes them happy.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends!  One of them did a guest post for me.  Another one was present for this incident.  And another encouraged me to tell her more about the DOC when I was still wary of talking about it.  (Oh, come on, you know how some people think you're crazy when you try to explain the DOC).  We sat on her couch, and she and her husband listened to me try to explain it.  And they all have been so totally and completely supportive.

I've talked to two of them on the phone this week.  And they asked all about Simonpalooza.  And listened to me go on and on about it.  Because they are happy for me and they really do care!

We have been friends for nearly ten years.  Which is crazy, and makes me feel old, but that's another story for another time.  We have been through a lot together, good and bad.  It makes me so very happy that they have embraced this new direction my life has taken.

The DOC has changed my life.  No doubt about it.  But so have these girls.  And I need to remember that, to not get so wrapped up with my DOC friends that I ignore my other friends.

If any of you three girls feel ignored, I am so sorry.  And I am so, so excited that I get to see ALL THREE OF YOU very soon.

And to all my "real life" friends.  Those who have been there for the long haul.  You have made a difference in my life.  I am so blessed.

So thank you, my friends.  You know who you are.  I love you.

From Wicked:

"But I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you"

"And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine, by being my friend." 

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: It's The Thought That Counts

Thank you, Brian, for the goodies.  And it's totally not your fault they didn't arrive on time.  It's the thought that counts.  And I mean it.  Thank you, my friend!

*And thanks to Sara for sharing all her wonderful photos!  The ones in this post are all from her.*

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

We Are All With The Band

photo courtesy of Sara.  And the airline employee who took it.  Thank you!

So there was too much going on in my brain to write another post about Simonpalooza, so I decided to vlog it.  And I talk a lot.  I'm sorry.

I quoted this song in the vlog.  It's one of my favorites.  Every time I hear it, I cry and think of the DOC.  I love you all!  We are ALL with the band!

There's one more video you HAVE to watch.  But go get some tissue first.

I'm serious.  I'll wait.


Don't say I didn't warn you.  You WILL cry!

If you're short on time, skip my vlog and watch this video that Sara put together.  Simon took some time to thank Cherise for all she's done.  What he had to say had us all crying.  A lot.  Watching the video had me balling again!

So get your tissues, and go watch the video!  Thank you Simon, for having the courage to share so openly and honestly with everyone.  I really admire you for that.  Thank you.

Monday, October 10, 2011

48 Hours of Awesome

My brain is still spinning.

Simonpalooza was this weekend.  And it was incredible.  Indescribable even.  I don't even think I can put it into words.  Just wow.  Like FFL, but crammed into 48 hours (or 24 hours, for some).

My brain is still processing all the awesomeness.  The only way it could have been any better is if the entire DOC could have been there.  I feel so extremely blessed that the gathering occurred where I live so that I could be a part of it.  It was a weekend I will never forget.

So to tide you over while I process, here are a few pics.

I got to hug Simon! Yay!

OMG! Look! It's Blunt Lancet!

Don't Jeff, Kelly, Kim and Simon look hot?

Avoiding the paparazzi.

And the groupies are rejected.

Cherise and Simon.  He made her, and the rest of us, cry. A lot.

Believe it or not, these are the only pictures I took.  Don't worry, Sara and C took a ton, so we're covered.

There was also a lot of #simonpalooza and #imwiththeband tweeting going on.  I particularly loved:

Lots of emotions this weekend.  It was a beautiful thing. Also, we made a You Can Do This project video with everyone from Simonpalooza.  Go to Sara's blog and check it out.  It's amazing!