Sunday, August 21, 2011

One Week Later...

So I had my endo appointment one week ago today.

#waitingwithdiabetes
I was really hoping that my A1c had dropped from that 7.6% last time.

And it did.  To 7.5%.  Not exactly the drop I had in mind.  Sitting there with my wonderful endo, I was fighting back tears.  Yes, the past month has been incredibly stressful, triggering my food issues and higher numbers.  And as I was reminded, the last month weighs heavier in the A1c result than the first too.

But is was SO disappointed.  Yes, I have issues with stress eating.  Sitting and eating and eating and not SWAGing very well.  But damnit, I have been trying!!!  I've been doing the best I can.  I know that if I could remove that last month and have gotten my A1c at the two month mark rather than the three, it would be lower.

I alternated between being sad and angry.  But one week later, I am feeling better about the situation.  I of course tweeted my A1c frustration, and received so much support and encouragement, from too many people to list. I also called my mom and Josh, who were loving and supportive also.  Thank you all so very much.  It means a lot.

Yes, I wish it had gone down more.  But as so many friends and family members reminded me, it did go down, and that is a victory in and of itself.

I'm trying to focus not on the number, but on my overall health.  I am in a much better place mentally and emotionally than I used to be.  Yes, I still struggle with my food issues, but not every day like I used to.

I am talking much better care of myself, even if my A1c doesn't reflect that yet.  Eventually, it will.  I can do this.

6 comments:

  1. You know YOU CAN DO THIS!

    You ARE doing it! And you have friends around the world supporting you, cheering you on, and ready in your corner for whatever you need.

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  2. Jess, I believe that feeling better mentally and emotionally is going to do more for you than a couple of points on the A1C.
    Yup, you can do this and yup, the A1C will reflect that soon.

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  3. You're doing it, Jess. I believe in you, just as I know we can all get through these frustrating times even when it feels as though we can't. You are right, in trusting advice that even a small dip like that is progress and a victory. So, way to go! That is a step in the right direction, and proof that you can do it.

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  4. I know it can feel so discouraging. I feel the same way when I step on the scale every week and I've lost weight, but not as much weight as I had set for my goal. I'll make you a deal. We will both ignore the number and celebrate that we are moving in the right direction, okay? Together we'll give ourselves a big pat on the back!! Luv ya!!

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  5. Jess- it's amazing how our appointments can sometimes get the best of us. Chin up, shoulders back, look in the mirror and know that you are better than this disease! You can do it! because you already are. :)

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  6. You absolutely can do this, bit by little bit. We've got your back. :)

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