Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I'll Hug Her Next Time

So yesterday afternoon, I had my second appointment with my mental health professional.  I still really like her a lot, and feel good about that decision.

I need to take a moment here and thank everyone for their support.  I knew that you all would back me up, but the amount of encouragement and love I received was truly overwhelming.  Thank you.

As I mentioned in my previous post on the subject, my CDE helped me find my therapist.  And I want to share about that experience so you will understand why I LOVE my CDE!

So because I am a total chicken, I called when I knew my CDE wouldn't be in the office and left her a voicemail.  I was so nervous, I don't even really remember what I said. Something along the lines of "I'm having a lot of trouble with emotional eating," and "can you please help me find a mental health professional?"

When she called back the next day, I didn't answer.  I let it go to voicemail.  Cause I am a chicken.

I was SO NERVOUS going to my appointment with her.  Now let me back up.  I've been seeing the same endo for almost 10 years now.  And I've been working with this CDE (we'll call her J) for at least five years.  If not longer.

I knew that she would be supportive, and I completely trusted her to help me.  But I'd never done this before.

SO nervous...

But I didn't need to be.  J walked me into her office and said, "Tell me what's going on."

And so I did.  About the stress happening in my life.  About the emotional eating.  About how it's been happening for YEARS.  About how it's why my A1c won't come down.

"This is a problem for more people than you'd think," she said, "and I've had other patients go through this too.  I'm so glad you came in.  We'll get this figured out."

And then she handed me a paper with the name of my now-therapist on it.  Experience with eating issues and diabetes?  Yes please!

We then spent some time talking about the DOC.  This was the week after Simonpalooza, so the impact of the DOC was hugely present.  I told her all about the amazing weekend.  About how the DOC has changed my life.  About how all of you is what gave me the courage to finally ask for help.

And she thought it was awesome.

I thought she was fantastic before all of this, but I love her even more now.  That meeting with J gave me hope.  It was the first glimpse of hope I'd had that I wouldn't be doing this to myself forever.  The eating.  There was no judgement; only support.

When I left, she said, "Keep me posted.  I will call if I don't hear from you."  I could see the worry on her face.  I wanted to hug her.  I should have.

I'll hug her next time.


  1. This is so encouraging to hear your story about how things are SUPPOSED to work when we need help. The interaction you have with your CDE should be the standard. I'm so glad you've got a team behind you (DOC included) who has your back.

  2. I lovelovelove that your CDE is so awesome :]. Thank you for sharing this story, Jess -- not only for yourself, but also with the hope that someone else will realize they are not alone and seek help.

    You are awesome -- I wanna give you a hug now! :]

  3. One of the things that makes me most proud (and there are many!) is that even tho you may be fearful - you do it anyway. You know you're fearful, but you forge ahead. Way to go! Love ya!

  4. This is how it should be. Having supportive and encouraging people in your corner makes all the difference in the world.

    I'm also glad that you're comfortable talking about some of it here, as that will make a difference for many more people!

  5. Shoot - tears and can't see.
    I'm so proud of you. Love the leaving messages and not answering the phone.
    Wouldn't it be nice if everyone could have a CDE like yours?
    Love & Hugs!

  6. Jealous of your CDE!

    When I figure out what I am going to do for an endo, I will make sure an awesome CDE is high on the list.

    Also, I love your mom's comment because she is so right! You may be a chicken, but you are a brave chicken ;)

  7. Awww. Sounds like your CDE and mine should be friends. You are in my thoughts every damn day!

  8. You go girl!!! And hug her from me too for helping you. :)

  9. omg i do the same thing b/c msgs are easier to deal with than the phone sometimes. cluck cluck!

    so glad you have such an awesome support system. we love our NP so much too!

  10. I am so glad that you have that professional support system! It's something I long for. Good luck with your appointments, and I'm glad you're keeping us posted. We love you, ya know. :)