Yesterday, I had my quarterly endo appointment. For the first time in a long, long time, I was actually looking forward to my appointment.
Yes, you read that correctly. I was excited to go see my endo. Crazy, right?
The last month has been going so well. Not that all my bgs have been amazing. Far from it (i.e. the week before my period. Holy high blood sugars, batman!).
But it's been about a month since I started seeing my therapist. It's quite freeing to talk about my life and the things I've been through to a mental health professional. More than I thought it would be. I didn't expect to see results in regards to my eating immediately. But I have!
Not that my emotional eating is gone. It isn't. It's still there, lurking, every time I get upset or stressed out. And I have slipped multiple times. I'm far from perfect. I know I have a long way to go, but I feel like I've made progress. I still have high bgs, but when I'm not binge eating, I'm not running high ALL THE TIME. It feels nice.
So I went into the appointment feeling hopeful. Hopeful that my A1c would reflect how much better I was doing and feeling. But I tried not to get too excited. To remind myself that the A1c is just a number, and may not reflect my progress in such a short amount of time.
Walk in, sit down, nurse pricks finger, checks bg and gets sample for A1c. The endo comes in and we chat as he looks at my CGM reports. He seems pleased by the average line on the graphs.
The suspense is KILLING me! At this office, they slide a card with the A1c under the door when the results come in. As I talk to the endo, I keep looking at the door. Come on, already!
My endo says, "So I hear you're seeing Dr. X. How is that going?" And I'm in the middle of telling him when the card slides under the door.
Say WHAT? My A1c was 7.5 last time. It's down to 7.1! SEVEN POINT ONE, PEOPLE! I can't even tell you the last time it was that low. Seriously, I can't. Again, I know that an A1c is only a number. It does not reflect my worth. It does not define me. But to have tangible evidence of progress is incredible.
My endo was, of course, thrilled. At the end of my appointment, I snuck down the hall to my CDE's office and peek in. She's there. I tell her my A1c. And give her that hug. And she is almost as excited as I am. I feel so blessed to have such a supportive team in my endo, CDE, and therapist. I wouldn't have reached this point without them.
Upon leaving, walking teary-eyed back to my car, I text my mom and call my husband, who share in my joy. They have supported me always, through thick and thin. I owe them so much.
I sat there in the car all teary-eyed because I could hardly believe it. One year ago, I saw my endo in November, and my A1c was 8.0. For me, that was the highest I'd been in a long time. For me, that was rock bottom. And then I found the DOC. You all have inspired me to take care of myself. You have taught me that I can do this. Without you, I wouldn't have had the courage to ask for help. And I wouldn't be sitting here with quite possibly the best A1c of my adult life. Thank you.
Oh, and I almost forgot. When my endo got up to leave, he handed me the card with my A1c. "Here," he says, "you can put it on the fridge." Are you kidding? I'm framing it!