Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Some Belated Grinchiness

So I know the holidays are all over and done, but there's something I need to get off my chest.  And yes, I realize I sound like the Grinch, so bear with me.

As a person with diabetes and emotional eating issues,  part of me absolutely HATES the holidays!

Whew!  I feel better now.

Don't get me wrong.  As I warned you before, I LOVE Christmas!  I really, really do!  It's the food that comes with it that I don't.

The holidays and their food come around, and I feel like acting like a two year old.  Laying on the ground and having a full-blown kicking, screaming "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!" fit.  Diabetes is extra hard around the holidays.

Yes, I know I can eat that.  And I do.  Along with doing my effing best to bolus for it.  But no where is safe.  Cookies, cake, pie, candy, cupcakes--everywhere you go has something.  And if you have the willpower to say no to all of it, I applaud you.  I wish I did.  But I don't.

Even when I don't overdo it and just have one piece or one cookie, that doesn't mean my bgs won't shoot the moon.  It's frustrating.

As much as I wanted to have that meltdown, I refuse to give diabetes that victory.  Overall, I'm please with how I handled the holidays.  Yes, the emotional eating reared its ugly head.  But not as bad as it could have been.  As much as I wanted to rip my CGM out for all the beeping, it helped me keep tabs on things, and do a better job of handling the consequences of said emotional eating.  And the lovely weather helped too.  My therapist suggested going for a walk when I get stressed and/or emotional.  It really did help.

I also got to see so many friends and loved ones this holiday season.  This I treasure and am so thankful for.  Especially my 90 year old grandma and 93 year old grandpa, whom we honestly didn't think would make it to another Christmas.  They are still here.  And I wouldn't trade my time with them for anything.

But I'm also a firm believer in acknowledging the difficult things.  Acknowledge them, face them, and move on from there.  And when I tweeted something Christmas Eve stating my feelings about the holidays at that moment, I got a lot of love and support.  The #DOC never fails.  And those responses, reminding me that I wasn't the only one, helped me face the rest of that weekend and focus on the joy and the things to be thankful for.

So thanks for putting up with my Grinchiness, even if it is a little late.


6 comments:

  1. it feels good to know that there is a place where we can come, lay out all the "grinchiness", and still feel the love. i'm glad to have found it. and i'm glad you were able to find the joy of the season, even though D can be a B****. =)

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  2. I have found how normal we all are! Thank you for the post. Holidays were hard for me with the alcohol and pies and all the delicious carbs. And I'd beat myself up for having high bgl. And I'd love to throw temper tantrums all year round. I don't consider you a grinch. I consider you human.

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  3. I have to say, I always welcome the normalcy of the post-holiday weeks. Everything -- especially food and drink -- is just so overdone. You know this already, but you're not alone.

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  4. @Jacquie - I like when things get back to normal after the hectic holiday season, too. @Jess - I think you handled the frustration of being Type 1 during food gorging season really well. The hardest thing for me in December is all of the party food that I have no idea what the carb count might be...I just have to guess. Appetizer only parties are the worst. Too much alcohol and not enough protein. But we all made it through. And that is definitely a blessing! =)

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  5. A. Love the new blog and background. 2. Good for you for the walking, the de-stressing and for not letting diabetes win. C. I heart you like crazy.

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  6. You know I struggle with my grinchiness too, and when I was struggling with the creme brûlée on Christmas Eve it was so comforting to have the support of the DOC. :)

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