I've been putting off writing this post, because I just want everything to be fine. I'm sick of dealing with this.
As I mentioned a while ago, things have been rather stressful of late. There are some questions I'm waiting anxiously to be answered. I've been pretty stressed. And this has caused the eating has become a big problem again.
I'm so tired of dealing with this. Why can't I just eat food like a normal person? Why won't this just go away?
I know why, but I am just so SICK of dealing with the power that food seems to hold over me.
A large part of the problem is that I haven't seen my therapist in a long time. When she took me on as a client, it was on a cancellation basis. Meaning that she didn't actually have any openings, but would see me when one of her regular clients cancelled an appointment.
The problem is that people haven't been canceling. And so I haven't seen her in months. Which is not working for me. When I first started, she had cancellations, and I was able to see her every few weeks. And it helped SO MUCH.
But without it, I've backslid quite a bit, I'm ashamed to say. It's painful for me to admit it.
|Photo credit: NazarethCollege via Flickr Creative Commons|
A few weeks ago, I was trying to work up the nerve to call my therapist and tell her that I needed to see someone else. Someone who could fit me in on a regular basis. When lo and behold, she calls me to suggest the very same thing.
So later this week, I have an appointment with a colleague of hers. I know that this is the best thing for me. And I have been assured that this colleague is wonderful and has experience with Type 1 Diabetes. My therapist and I agreed that this is what I need to do.
But still. It's going to be hard. My soon to be former therapist is WONDERFUL. I absolutely love her, and I'm nervous about starting over with someone new. But this person can give me my own regular time slot, which is what I need. And I completely trust my old therapist, so when she says this person is good, I am confident that she is.
But still. My nerves about this are not helping my eating issues either. Ironic, isn't it?
As nervous as I am, I'm also hopeful. I'm ready to get back to getting better. To get out of the sludge. So here goes nothing.