So I've had my first meeting with my new psychologist. In fact, it's almost time for my second meeting with her. I've been processing that first session and deciding what I want to say.
The good news is that I think this is going to work out. This new psychologist was very nice and definitely has a lot of experience working with food issues and eating disorders, which is what I need. Based on my first impression, she doesn't seem to know as much about Type 1 Diabetes as my old therapist, but I'll have to investigate that further. And if she doesn't, then it's an opportunity for me to do some educating.
But there are two main reasons I think this is going to work. First of all, I felt comfortable with her. She was easy to talk to, and I cried about 10 minutes in, so we've gotten that out of the way. The second thing is that I now have my own regular appointment time.
This is SO IMPORTANT! This is why I switched. I am ready to get better, and I feel like I am on the path towards that.
Part of why I got so emotional has to do with feeling like a failure. After I started therapy initially, I was doing so well! I was very conscious about what I ate, and was able to stop coping with food cold turkey, at least for a while. I lost weight and felt great.
And then the newness wore off. And there was a long lapse in my sessions. And I backslid. A lot. Especially lately. I hinted at it in my last post, but I was having some serious anxiety about a health issue. A small but extremely frustrating non-diabetes health issue. One that I had about convinced myself was actually a big scary issue.
Now, I can thankfully report that it's not big and scary. It is minor, being taken care of, and less frustrating. Whew! Not knowing what was going on was difficult. I don't do well with the unknown. I didn't even realize just how incredibly anxious I was about it until I wasn't anxious anymore. Holy cow.
I was talking about all this with my therapist. About how when I started therapy, I finally had hope that the emotional and binge eating would go away. But somewhere in the last six months, that hope disappeared.
I'm trying to find it again. Hope. And all of you are helping me on that path. Having my family, friends, and this community cheering me on helps so much!
My new therapist is helping me find hope too. In my first appointment, she said that sometimes we move forward, and sometimes we step backwards. And that's ok. I'm ready to start moving forward again.