Thursday, August 29, 2013


Why do I get so excited when they match?

Makes me want to jump up and shout "BINGO!" or something.  At least if I like the number.

Thursday, August 22, 2013


I made a visit to my endo yesterday.  One week after my 20th diaversary.

On the way, I had the usual pre-endo jitters.  I don't think that will ever go away.  I actually hadn't been to see my endo in about six months, which is a long time for me.  We both had to cancel once, so two reschedules later, I was on the way.

I was a bit extra nervous because I've had a few rough patches in the last month.  My psychologist left the practice months ago, and I had yet to call the recommended replacement.  Four months is definitely too long for me to go without seeing a mental health professional at this point.  The binging was starting to work its way back into my life.

The day before my endo appointment, I finally stopped putting off that phone call.  I have an appointment with my new psychologist set for next week.  Despite the setbacks, I still feel like things are going ok overall.  With the end of summer and start of the new school year, I've been dealing with a lot of change and stress.  And I've still been able to function.  To work and still have energy to do other things in the evenings.  To not be so overwhelmed that I'm reduced to a pile on the sofa every night.

But still.  I was worried about my A1c.  As I always am.  But as soon as my endo walked through the exam room door, I started to feel better.  His reassuring smile and kind heart always make me feel better.  My A1c is about the same as it was six months ago, which is a huge relief.  Dr. H is pleased with my overall trends and settings.  A nice reminder that rough patches don't undo everything.  And a nice way to kick off my 20th year of living with diabetes.  I'll definitely take it.

Also, is 30 too young to have a midlife crisis?  Because I might have cut off my hair.  And I might love it.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


Today marks twenty years of living with Type 1 Diabetes.

My 10th birthday, about two weeks before diagnosis.

Twenty years is a long time (see also: holy crap, I'm old).  Twenty years of finger sticks, insulin shots, and pump sets.  Low and high blood sugars.  Quarterly trips to the endo.

It's difficult to describe or quantify.  As today approached, I tried not to think about it too much.  Twenty years with T1D is a milestone, but I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it.  Last night, I had a bit of a pity party.  The never ending-ness of all of it got to me.  Josh was there to encourage me, as he always is.  I texted my mom and she too helped me refocus on the important things.  As did some DOC friends who responded to a tweet.

Yes, twenty years is a long time.  But I'm still here, still alive, living my life.  Between my husband, my family, and the DOC, it was nearly impossible to be in a bad mood today.  You all have helped me focus on the positive.  On the things that matter.  So thanks for that.  I love you all.