Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Glamorous Moments


My Dexcom receiver rattles in the glass coaster on my nightstand (it's home at night to help amplify the alarm sounds). I fumble in the dark and find the button. Yup, high alarm. It's midnight. I check my blood sugar. Dexcom is right, I'm high. Time to take a correction bolus and go back to bed.

4am: Holy crap, I have to pee. Since I'm awake, I check my Dex. Still high. Check bg again, correct again, go back to sleep.

7am:  My alarm goes off.  My first thought: "I'd better not still be high." Drumroll please…

Crap. STILL high. At this point, I probably should change my set. But this set has only been in for two days, and it's been working perfectly. It can't be the set. Another correction bolus, and it's time to get ready for work.

10am: Dex is showing still north of 200. Finger stick confirms this. On the plus side, my blood sugar hasn't gone up since breakfast. But it hasn't gone down either. Maybe it is the set.

12pm: A myriad of corrections has had no real affect. Time to change my set, for sure. In the work bathroom. Praying it doesn't hurt and cause involuntary cursing since there's someone else in another stall. Diabetes makes for some glamorous moments.

3pm: Hallelujah! A down arrow! Dare I check on my meter? I dare. And survey says…198! Under 200! Barely, but I'll take it. Should've just changed that set in the first place.

Some days, I've got this all under control. Other days, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013



YOU GUYS! I can't believe it! Less than a week, people! Five days, to be exact. My heart is exploding with gratitude.

It's been a long time since I've done any major fundraising for diabetes research. Like, since I was a kid long time. I was worried about meeting my goal. But you guys came through in a big way. A BIG way. I am so proud and thankful.

And of course, there's still plenty of time before the walk to raise my goal...hee hee...

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Why I Walk

53 years of living with Type 1 Diabetes. That's the total for Team TriSaraTops.  George has been living with T1 for 23 years, Sara for 10, and me for 20.  That's 53 years of T1D. And we are walking together to support a better future for us all.

Why do I walk?

Won't you please help me?  For more info or to donate, see here.  And thanks for being part of our hope.

Monday, October 21, 2013

We Really Can

I'm in two places at once!  This post can also be found on the You Can Do This Project site.  Thanks Kim for having me!

Last Saturday was a magical day.

On October 12th, I spent the day in Omaha at the Taking Control of Your Diabetes Conference.  Well, to be more precise, I spent the day in the exhibit hall, volunteering at the You Can Do This Project booth.

It was me, Kim, and my husband, Josh.  This was my fourth time volunteering for YCDT.  I worked the booth at Friends for Life, at the JDRF Omaha walk, and at TCOYD in Des Moines.  Though each event has been different, there are some things that stay the same.

Each time I work the booth confirms just how much this project is needed.  The response from the people we meet is overwhelmingly positive.  Saturday was no exception.  Not everyone jumps for joy by any means, but most people seem to think it's a great idea.

We passed out a lot of fliers and bracelets, and talked to plenty of people.  But there are moments that stick out in my mind.  While I sincerely hope everyone we talked to will check out the project, there are a few people that I REALLY hope do.  Their diabetes makes them feel so alone, or they are so frustrated by lack of progress.  I want them to know they are not alone.  None of us are.

It wasn't only people with diabetes we talked to.  TCOYD has a track for Diabetes Educators and other healthcare professionals who work with PWDs.  Quite a few of them stopped at our booth.  Know what was awesome about that?  Their reactions.  So many of the CDEs were SO EXCITED when we explained what YCDT was.  It was fantastic!  They took lots of fliers to distribute to patients.  One CDE even asked Kim and I how to encourage her patients to get involved online.  Fist bump!  I have real hope that we'll see some follow-up from these CDEs.  Very cool.

In the sea of adults, we did meet a couple kiddos.  Kennedy is amazing, and was our only video volunteer of the day.  If you haven't seen her video yet, stop and watch it right now.  I'll wait.  We also met Henry, who was so sweet and bright.  It was truly a joy to meet him.  I mean, look at his face!  If he can do this, then I totally can.

For me, the highlight of the day was when a gentleman with a medal came up to our booth.  A 50 year Joslin medal, to be exact.  He's actually been living with Type 1 Diabetes for 63 years.  Which completely takes my breath away.  He graciously spent 15 minutes talking to Kim and I about his life.  I can't even put into words how much hope he gave me.  Seeing him standing there, talking to us, in pretty good shape after living with diabetes for 63 years.  I'm getting teary just thinking about it.  It's a moment that will stay with me.

And that's what YCDT is all about.  Hope.  Hope because you aren't alone.   Hope because mistakes don't mean you've failed.  Hope, because we can do this.  Together.  We really can.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Acronyms In Omaha

I love the You Can Do This Project.  With all my heart.  I really do.  I wear my YCDT bracelet every single day, as I have done since Friends For Life 2012.

This coming Saturday will mark my fourth time volunteering for YCDT at a diabetes event.  I'll be joining Kim at the Taking Control of Your Diabetes event in Omaha, NE this coming Saturday, October 12th.  And I can't wait!

I love volunteering at the booth.  I've met some amazing people, and heard some incredible stories.  Spend some time talking to people at the YCDT booth, and you'll learn just how isolated most people feel with their diabetes.  There are so many people out there with different types of diabetes, and yet the disease still feels so isolating to so many.  That's why I love this project.  It's a way to show people that they are never alone.

YCDT booth at TCOYD Des Moines
September 2012

If you're anywhere near Omaha, please consider coming to TCOYD, and be sure to stop by the YCDT booth and say hi.  We'd love to see you!  For more info about TCOYD, see here.

Another reason I'm excited for this event?  I'm hoping to catch a rabbit. :)

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Oversized Lancet

An almost picture perfect set change.  A nice squishy spot.  Needle went right in, and I didn't even feel it.  

I use the spaceship-like Mio sets.  I always put the lid back on to cover the needle before disposal.  Always.  With every set change.  This is not a new thing.

Yet somehow I managed to stab myself in the thumb with said needle while recapping.  Um, OUCH!  Just a slightly larger needle than my lancet.

Adding insult to injury, I didn't even get a free blood sugar check.  I'd just checked it five minutes before and didn't want to waste another strip.

I would not recommend using an infusion set needle as a lancet. 

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

It's Not About the Weight

Trigger warning: disordered eating, body image issues, depression.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional of any kind.  These are my personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences only.  Not medical advice.

It's not about the weight.  More specifically, it's not about MY weight.  At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

This is the lesson I am currently trying to learn.  I've been working on it for a while.  Dr. P was working on it with me, and J is helping me continue that work.

It is work.  Trying to unlearn years and years of behavior is difficult.  I've been overweight most of my adult life.  Actually, even before that.  My heaviest was in high school.  In college, I participated in a weight loss program.  At the time, it worked great for me.  I lost weight, changed my eating habits, and felt great.

But it didn't last.  In the years following my college graduation, my disordered eating became worse and worse, as did my (unrecognized and untreated) depression and anxiety.  All this led to a lot of weight gain.  And really high blood sugars.  And guilt.  And shame.

Then I found the DOC.  And for about six months, things were great.  I was high on the joy of finding my community.  Of no longer feeling alone.  Truly inspired to take care of myself and my diabetes, I reigned in my eating, improved my A1c, and lost weight.  Can you see the pattern emerging?  Because guess what?  It didn't last.

The binge eating was not going to just disappear.  Thanks to tremendous amounts of support from my family and DOC friends, I found the courage to ask for help--one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I've been in treatment for a couple years now.  There have been ups and downs, highs and lows, but treatment has changed my life.  I still struggle, but have come so far.

Which brings me back to my point.  It's not about the weight.  It can't be.  I focused on weight for years.  It doesn't work for me.  So I am trying to unlearn all that behavior.

It's not about my weight.  It's about being healthy.  Focusing on taking care of myself for the long term.  This is what I'm trying to do.  For me, that encompasses several things.  I try to eat healthy most of the time.  Packing and taking my lunch to work.  Eating fruits and/or vegetables with most meals.  Stocking my house with healthy foods and snacks.  Exercising at least three times a week.  And doing the best I can to care for my diabetes and all the challenges that come with it.

It seems like a tall order.  But I know it's doable.  Because here's the kicker: I don't always eat healthy.  I can't.  An all or nothing, very restrictive diet doesn't work for me.  When I restrict like that, I will binge and get stuck in that cycle all over again.  I know this from plenty of experience.

For me, being healthy sometimes means having a giant cheeseburger and fries.  Or pizza.  Or a doughnut.  Or my aunt's FANTASTIC apple pie.  Because if I indulge in those things I love sometimes, then I am much more successful at making healthier choices other times.  And the urge to binge remains mostly quiet.

It's about moderation.  Finding a balance between making healthy choices, while still indulging in not so healthy choices sometimes.  Because it's not about my weight.  It's about my health.  And I'll keep saying it until I believe it.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Fall Is My Favorite

Today is No D Day, so I won't be mentioning diabetes in today's post.  See Mr. Ninjabetic's blog for more info.

Fall is my favorite season.  Hands down.  I love this time of year.  From the top of my head to the tips of my toes.  Every part of me loves autumn.

It's time for cute boots and scarves.  For mums and acorns.  For pumpkin flavored everything.  For amazing pumpkins and gourds of every imaginable size, color, and texture.  For crisp air and crackling fires.  Fresh apples and my mom's homemade applesauce.

And the color.  Oh the color!  The leaves on the trees are the absolute best thing about fall.  While I don't enjoy raking them, it's worth it to see them in all their glory.  My alma mater has a campus full of maple trees.  And in autumn, those trees are spectacular.  It's one of the things that made me fall in love with the school.

The leaves are slow to change this year.  But I am on the hunt, and have seen a few starting to change.  I can't wait!  All those brilliant reds, oranges, yellows, and golds.  I don't think there's much that compares to that display.

Yes, it's been unseasonably warm here.  But it's still fall.  I wore cute boots and a scarf today, despite the 80 degree temps.  It's October 1st, dammit!  I know the cooler weather is coming.  And I can't wait.

Fall is my favorite season.