Friday, February 21, 2014


The internet can be a vicious place. And today, I feel so disappointed to see that creeping into the Diabetes Online Community.

This community is precious to me. Sacred even. This community has saved me time and time again. Carried me when I couldn't stand on my own. So the way some are responding to Miss Manners is breaking my heart.

Here is the original column. And here are posts by Kari and Sara that I agree with wholeheartedly. A reader asked Miss Manners a question, and she responded with her OPINION, as one does in a column like that. I am shocked at the response by some online to the opinion of one person. Miss Manners thinks it would be more polite to check one's blood sugar in an airplane restroom rather than at one's seat. Do I agree with her? No. Was I angry when I first read her response? Yes.

Here's the thing. It's ok to be angry. Totally and completely ok. But to attack this little old lady is such a vicious manner for sharing her opinion? Not ok. Not at all.

Where is the compassion, empathy, and understanding that made me fall in love with the Diabetes Online Community? This is a tremendous opportunity to educate, that is being lost in words of hate and defensiveness.  I've shared a lot of opinions on this blog. A lot. And I would be crushed if something I wrote was attacked in the way Miss Manners has been attacked.

It's her opinion. And she has every right to hold and share that opinion. It doesn't mean we have to agree with her. I certainly don't. I check my blood sugar in my seat when I fly, and I plan to continue doing so. Hell, I've done a complete set and site change in an airport terminal in full view of others. Do some people think it's rude and gross? Probably. And they have the right to think that. Just as I have the right to disagree with them.

And like Sara said, the comments on Miss Manners' column by regular readers heavily disagree with her. Most people don't seem to have any problem with people with diabetes testing in their seats. That is so encouraging! I love that. To me, that response is way more important than the opinion of one woman.

Miss Manners has her opinion. This post is mine. And you don't have to agree with either of us.


  1. I think what made me the most angry was that people look to her for advice. It's not just any little old lady giving opinions, its the opinion of a widely circulated article, that a lot of people turn to and actually take as proper etiquette rather than just an opinion. I do agree with you mostly, but I just thought I would share what bothered me most as well about the whole thing.

  2. Thank you - I agree with your opinion 100%. I don't like to see anyone attacked in such a cruel manner. I can swear with the best of them, but when I see curses and rude language spewing all over the place in our community, it makes me very disappointed too.

  3. I don't believe the attitude is creeping through the DOC, it's already crept, and it happened long before the whole thing with Ms Manners.

  4. Yes to this. <3 Though I am preparing my own snarky reply to Miss Manners, but it is going to be silly and not mean. :)

  5. Thanks Jess. I'm encouraged by the voice of reason I'm reading from you and others today. I have to live with my reaction to this event, and so does everyone else. I try to remember that when responding to something like the Miss Manners column, and I hope in the future, people can think a little about that before they respond.

  6. I honestly am flabbergasted at how pissed off the entire doc is right now. It's deplorable. It's disappointing to me too and I've lost a little respect for the doc. The backlash is just over-the-top. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this.

  7. Perfectly written... It makes me sad to read some of the responses that people had. But then I read this, and Sara's (and another Sara referenced in her post), and I'm proud that you guys had the courage to speak up at the risk of being shouted down.

    Well done.