Sunday, 10 April, 2011

Three Reasons (HAWMC Day 6)

Today’s prompt: I write about my health because…

I write about my health for three reasons.

One, I write about it for me.  The blog, as well as Twitter and Juvenation, are places where I can vent.  If I have a terrible bg day, I can say that, and other people with D know EXACTLY how I feel.  There’s no need to explain or validate–they just know.

And when I’m struggling and write a post about it (like this one, or this one, or this one) the support and love I receive is overwhelming.  Thank you.

Ok, reason number two.  I also write about my health for other people, especially other PWD.  The first people I found online were C and Kim.  I met both of them through Juvenation, and eventually found the rest of the DOC.  Ladies, you are rockstars!  Reading blogs of other PWD as well as parents of CWD helps me more than words can explain.  You know that “D Blogs I Adore” list to the right?  Yeah, I really do read ALL of them.  I know it sounds cheesy, but if something I write can help even one person to not feel alone, then it’s all worth it.  That’s all I want.

The third reason is to advocate.  I want to take a minute here to thank all my non-diabetic friends and family who read this blog.  Thank you so much!  I know it can be a lot to muddle through–plenty of strange terms and boring details–but the fact that you read it and you care means so much to me.  It really does.

Helping those without D understand what it’s like to live with it is a form of advocacy.  So is traveling to DC and sending emails and phone calls to publications who are reckless in their discussion of D.

So, in short, I write about my health for my own to receive support, give support, and advocate.  That’s it.

Thanks for listening.  Err…reading, I guess…


Ridiculous (HAWMC Day 4)

Today’s prompt: “Ludicrous headline or cure. What’s the most absurd thing you’ve heard about your condition? Whether it’s a cure you’re clearly supposed to try or a headline you’ve come across – the internet is rampant with examples of misinformation and quackery.”

So I wasn’t having a lot of luck finding too many ridiculous headlines.  Not for Type 1 Diabetes.

Type 2?  Well, that’s another story.  Unfortunately, there is an abundance of false information about Type 2 out there.

While I myself do not have Type 2, it is a form of diabetes, and I have some wonderful T2 friends in the DOC.

This article makes my blood boil on so many levels.  It’s ridiculous.

Really, CNN, really?

Headline: “Reversing Diabetes Is Possible.”

Really?

Ok, first level of annoyance.  If you read the article, they are clearly talking about T2 exclusively.  But do they make that distinction in the headline?  No.  Way to spread misinformation, CNN.

Yes, later in the article they make the distinction between T1 and T2, but we would all be better served if  this was clear in the headline.  And there’s no mention of LADA either.  Sigh.

The bigger issue for me here is how the headline makes it sound so easy.

I didn’t really know much about T2 before I discovered the DOC.  But I have learned so much from my T2 friends, and am so happy to know them.

This headline makes me angry on their behalf.  No diabetes, T1 or T2, ever goes away!  It is possible to improve your insulin resistance through diet, exercise, and medication, but my T2 friends are in this for the long haul too.

This headline is so ridiculous it’s insulting.

So thank you, Bob, Mike, Rachel, and all other T2s out there.  I’m sorry that you are the ones who have to deal with the more ridiculous headlines.  It’s crap.  It should NOT be that way.

T1, T2, or LADA, it’s all diabetes.  We’re all in this together.

*please check out the following blogs written by Type 2s and LADAs*

Type 2

Brenda Bell
My Diabetic Heart
The Poor Diabetic
T Minus Two
Tales of Rachel

LADA

Bab’s Blog
Diabetic-Iz-Me
Simon From the 70s


Rhyme Time (HAWMC Day 23)

Today’s Prompt: Dr. Seuss Day! Write a post with as many rhymes as you can.


Oh boy, oh boy, what to say?
How many rhymes can I make today?
Dr. Seuss is my favorite, and if I may
I’m counting on him to show the way.

My life is not exciting as a book
Written by him, but let’s take a look.
There are no colorful creatures hiding in every nook
Or crazy concoctions that need a cook.

No Grinch, no Whos, though I do know a Sam
But this does not explain who I am.
Don’t offer me green eggs and ham
But I do like tweets that start with #BAM

I have diabetes, it does not have me.
Come step in my shoes and you will see.
Sometimes things are crazy as can be
But I know I can count on the DOC!


Peace (HAWMC Day 17)

Today’s prompt: just attempt to capture a moment as realistically and nonjudgmentally as you can.  Today write something that’s mindful. That means forgo writing critically using abstractions and big ideas and just live in the reality of the moment you choose to capture.  

I am at my church.  At night.

I have attended church here my entire life.  Spent countless hours roaming the building.  

I open the heavy door and enter the sanctuary.  It is big.  It is dark.  It is quiet.  The only light in the sanctuary comes from the cross.  The cross is on the wall at the front of the room.  It is a golden color, though you can’t see that now.  It is backlit, and this is the only light in the vast room.

I make my way slowly up the center aisle.  My shoes make no noise on the carpet.  I reach out and put my hand on the side of the wooden pew.  My hand bounces from pew to pew as I walk, but gently enough to not make a sound.  

I keep walking until I reach the steps that lead up to the altar.  Here, I stop and stand.  The cross shines, lighting up the altar.  Above me, way up by the ceiling, is the only stained glass window in the church.  I cannot see it in the dark, but I know it is there.

It is Jesus, holding out his arms.   Three phrases appear in the window: “My peace,” “I give,” “Unto you.”  The way the window is designed, they can be read in any order.

My peace I give unto you.
I give unto you my peace.
My peace unto you I give.
Unto you I give my peace.
I give my peace unto you.
Unto you my peace I give.

Peace.


Once Upon A Time (HAWMC Day 15)

Today’s Prompt: Two Sentence Story- Simplify! Do the whole beginning, middle, end in just two sentences.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who felt alone; no one could possibly understand what she was going through.  But then, she made some new friends, who did understand, and she didn’t feel alone anymore.


On The Couch (HAWMC Day 20)

Today’s Prompt: Your writing room. Our environment greatly affects how we feel and, often, how productive we are. Where do you normally write?
 
I write on my couch.  In our living room.  It’s a nice neutral-colored couch (I like to accessorize with pillows).
 
This couch is the first piece of furniture J and I bought after we got married.  I know, awwwwwww, right? And thankfully we purchased the stain protection with it, so it survived the coffee I spilled on it yesterday.  
 
This is where I’m sitting as I write this.  On the couch.  MacBook on my lap.  TV on with the news.  J sitting next to me.
 
And I am perfectly content.

My Day (HAWMC Day 18)

Today’s prompt is plain and simple: write a schedule of what your typical day looks like. Where does your health fit in?

-wake up

-wake up husband

-check blood sugar and calibrate cgm

-bolus for breakfast

-make COFFEE!

-watch today show and hop on Twitter while waiting 30 minutes for bolus to kick in (helps keep me from spiking in the morning- don’t ask me why).

-eat breakfast

-brush teeth

-hair, makeup, etc.

-get dressed

-drive to work

-work

-lunch- check bg, calibrate, bolus, wait 15 minutes, eat lunch

-work

-afternoon break- check bg, calibrate, bolus, wait 15 minutes, and have a snack

-drive home (or to my parents’ house for dinner, depending on the day)

-check bg, calibrate, bolus, wait 15 minutes, eat dinner

-go for a walk outside or go to the gym (4 days a week)

-drive home

-shower

-check in with J about our days

-watch TV, facebook stalk some people, and tweet with my DOC friends

-check bg, calibrate, bolus, wait 15 minutes, and have a snack

-more TV-FB-Twitter

-snuggle with hubs

-check bg and calibrate one last time

-brush teeth

-bed


Lies (HAWMC Day 14)

Todays’ prompt: let’s make lists that are 5-10 lines long – each line being a lie or misconception about your health condition.

Lies
I ate too much sugar as a kid
Life with D is no big deal
My diabetes can be reversed or cured
All lies

My D is mostly invisible
You can’t tell just by looking
The toll it takes
Physically and emotionally
Don’t believe the lies


I Used To Be… (HAWMC Day 28)

Today’s Prompt: The idea is: you start every paragraph of your short story (or your poem) with the sentence “I used to be…” and end each with “but I’m not any more.”
I used to be apathetic, but I’m not anymore.
I used to be withdrawn, but I’m not anymore.
I used to be hesitant to speak out, but I’m not anymore.
I used to be afraid of my D, but I’m not anymore.
I used to be overwhelmed with the feeling I was the only one, but I’m not anymore.

I Love My Endo (HAWMC Day 19)

Today’s prompt: Health Activist Choice 2. Like our other first Health Activist Choice day, today’s topic is up to you! Write about something you’ve had on your mind.

Today, I have endo on the brain.  I went to my endocrinologist this morning, as I do every 3-4 months or so.

I’ve only ever had two endos in my whole life.  The first was my pediatric endo, whom I saw till I was 18, and I’ve been with my current endo ever since.

I like my endo, I really do.  But boy howdy, was I a hot mess this morning.  What is it about going to the endo that causes me to completely freak out?  The butterflies in my stomach, the anxiety, the stress.  Yikes!  I love my endo.  He’s a very kind, laid back kinda guy.  He has never, ever made me feel badly about myself.

Even back in November, when my A1c hit 8.0.  I was horrified and holding back tears, and he just said, “Well, that’s higher than I’d like.  Let’s see what we can do to get it down.”

So he suggested I contact my insurance again about getting a CGM.  And they said yes!  So I’ve been using my CGM since December, and I LOVE it!!!  I’m kinda addicted…I might have a problem…

I also found the DOC back in November.  So, thanks mostly to my DOC friends, as well as the CGM, my A1c dropped from 8.0 in November to 7.6 in February.  Woot!

So, back to today.  I was really hoping my A1c had gone down.  I have been trying to take better care of myself.  But between being sick and my food issues rearing their ugly heads over the last few weeks, my averages weren’t necessarily stellar.  But I was still hopeful.

So when the number came back at 7.6 again, I was really disappointed.  Yes, I’m still struggling with apathy, burnout, and my relationship with food, but damnit, I’ve been trying.  Grrrr!

While I was disappointed, my endo, on the other hand, was very pleased.  He said that it’s ok that it didn’t go down.  The fact that it stayed the same even with me being sick shows that I am trying and the CGM is helping.

And here I must apologize for not giving you guys credit where it’s due.  I’ve mentioned the DOC to him before, but didn’t expound on how much you all have helped me.  I should have done that today, but was too worked up.

Anyways, so endo made a few minor tweaks here and there, but was really pleased overall.  So I’m trying to focus on that.  The fact that it stayed the same is good.  I am making progress by doing the next thing.

I left the office still a little disappointed, but happy my endo was happy.  Oh, and all the stress and anxiety leading up to the appointment led to a lovely 248 and an afternoon of stubborn 200s.  Oh well.

But that A1c’s gonna be lower when I go back in August, damnit!  I CAN do this!

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